"AUTHOR!"

My second week without TV seems to be going well.  I'm getting used to the quiet atmosphere of my condo.  I don't even turn on the radio some nights.  I still nap too much, but I'm reading lots more!  Since I love to read this has been a true bonus.  I'm still leery about the future.  After all, all I've really missed is a bunch of reruns and some political speeches.  The new TV season is launching soon and then the holidays will roll around.  WHAT!?  NO MACY'S PARADE ON THANKSGIVING?  I didn't think this through!  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!! 

This weekend brings the Florida Heritage Book Festival to St. Augustine.  This is my first conference - my first Book Conference - and the first that I will be attending as a writer.  I was scared to death.  Was.  An eerie calm has overtaken me.  I may act like a boob, a fool, an idiot; I may not.  I am not worried.  I wish I knew from where this calm came, I would stuff it in a capsule, sell it to Merck, and retire to my oceanfront compound.

Two writers will be staying at the St. Francis Inn.  Both check in tomorrow.  One is Tim Dorsey, author of the weird series with two anti-heroes that you can't help but kind-of-like and fear.  Yes, fear, because Serge or Coleman could be in the car next to you on US 1.  Serge would either be medicated and fairly safe, or off his meds and totally insane!  Don't look!  Don't look!  And Coleman - he better not be driving because he is either drunk or stoned or both at all times.  Yet I can't help but like these two; they didn't ask to be what they are and they are just your typical screwups most of the time.  I've only read Tim Dorsey's first book in the series - Florida Roadkill - and I'm hooked.  His antiheroes and stories remind me of both Carl Hiaasen and Elmore Leonard - two favorite authors of mine.  What I truly enjoy is that the bad guys get what they deserve!  Tim Dorsey will be speaking Saturday and I will be there.  I hope to meet him either at the Inn or at the event.

The other writer is Eliot Kleinberg who writes for the Palm Beach Post.  He has also published several books and his topics center on the essential weirdness of Florida.  I believe Weird Florida is also his topic during his presentation Saturday.  I look forward to his presentation and meeting him also.

In addition Nancy Haddock will be there signing books in the morning.  I've already emailed her to confirm she will be there and she has been so nice and so friendly to correspond with me.  Her La Vida Vampire is one of my favorite books now. 

I went by the Dollar Store on my way home hoping to find some tacky Florida souvenirs to put in a Welcome Basket for Misters Dorsey and Kleinberg.  I found NOTHING.  Not even one blasted pink flamingo!  How can a Dollar Store NOT have tacky souvenir stuff!  I think they should have their license pulled.  I know of a couple other places to look, but I was hoping to stay in the DOLLAR range.  (stupid Dollar store)